Dispatches from the Fury Road: Woof.

I’m bummed out.

I’ve been sitting on this for a few days now with grandiose plans to write a piece that was insightful, witty, and a call to arms. Then after a while I just realised I don’t have the energy because it is just a bummer.

I’ve been following the adventures of Molly and Peggy since the pairing became best friends. Their friendship has been a constant delight in less delightful times. In my more optimistic (or saccharine, depending on where you’re at in life) moments, I’ve wondered, “Iff these two can become mates, why can’t everyone else?” Peggy even nursed Molly back to health when she was sick, and in turn Molly learned Peggy’s language so they could converse.

This is a beautiful friendship.

Who are Peggy and Molly? Peggy is an English Staffy and Molly is a magpie.

They’ve been pals since 2020 when Peggy and her owner were out for a walk on the Gold Coast and they found Molly, as a chick, laying on the ground. They attempted to reunite the magpie with her family, but after that didn’t work, they took her home to look after her. Peggy even began lactating milk for the injured bird. Over time Molly became stronger. She lived. She played with her furry friend. She learned to bark. A barking magpie! Sounds like something Alf would say on “Home and Away”.

“Bugger off ya barking magpies!”

When Peggy had pups, Molly kept an eye over the new mother. The owners kept one of the dogs and called her Ruby. Soon all three would play together.

Sometimes shithead magpies would see Molly and stare at her through the glass doors, ready to teach Molly a lesson. Luckily she had two bruiser protectors who wouldn’t stand for this type of intimidation, staring down the feathered bullies. At one point the owners had to find a new home, and there was much stress with the online fans that these best mates might have to be split up. When this didn’t occur and everyone stayed together, there was much rejoicing online.

Now Queensland authorities have come in and taken Molly away because a law has been broken. You can read about it here.

This news is just a bummer.

Yes, I understand laws have been broken. I wouldn’t encourage everyone to take home injured wildlife. We’ve all read stories from around the world where someone raised a wild animal as a pet to one day have that go horribly wrong. Usually with the owner ending up a tasty snack.

But I’ll guarantee if Peggy and her owner had contacted anyone about Molly when she was first found, that bird would be dead. Have you attempted to contact anyone about anything these days? You’re either on hold long enough to celebrate seven birthdays or you’re sent to a site that makes you interact with a bot that trap you in a loop of specific questions that inspire you to transform into Michael Douglas in Falling Down.

I don’t believe these friends needed to be separated. How about the Department of Environment making an official statement stating you shouldn’t do this normally and here are your options? Then pose with Molly and Peggy for the photo for the new story. There you go. All sorted.

It confounds me that anyone was following this for a year and the only reaction they had was, “This is against the law!” Laws are human constructs that allow us to interact as a society. They’re made up. Yes, they’re important, but laws over time change too. Remember when it was illegal to be gay? That was the law too. We changed that because it was stupid and awful. I’m not saying these are one for one examples and that we have to change this particular law, but if we want, we can bend and reshape to fit this situation. Their friendship speaks to something greater than what we consider normal in society. Just let them be pals.

The argument is that Molly won’t fit in with other magpies now, that she won’t be able to live out where she is meant to thrive. Yeah. That’s right. She has a family now. She has somewhere she is happy. Leave her to live where she has found a place that she belongs. Aren’t we all looking for that in the long term? I’m hoping to find that place at some point, I envy Molly being able to exist in that perfect world for her.

Now she’s locked up somewhere because she can’t be let back into the wild but the law states she can’t live in her home. Good work everybody. Good work by everyone who kept an “eye” on these animals and failed to feel the joy that emanated from these furry feathered friends. Good work thinking that rules are rules and you have to stick by them, no matter the cost, especially when it comes to a story where nobody was hurting anybody. Peggy and Molly were just a nice little corner of an awful fucking world, and now even this has been crapped on.

Ugh.

I know there are bigger problems in the world that need solving. I get that. This was just a tiny place to escape for a moment, to breathe, to feel warm, and prepare yourself to engage with the issues that surround us. Now this has been ruined as well. Hopefully the signed petitions and the public support will change this decision. As I said, the law is the law, they should definitely encourage people not to be taking wildlife home to be a part of their family.

How about we let this one slide though? Just this once, right?

Double ugh.

Happy fucking Easter.

Justin Hamilton

Surry Hills

30th of March, 2024