Dispatches from the Fury Road: Week 1

Hello from the Fury Road!

Well, that all turned to shit pretty quickly. Toilet paper disappearing from the shelves. Cauliflowers costing more than a pint of beer. Warring monkey tribes in Thailand. It’s enough to make you want to go on a long tour with the Doof Warrior.

There’s no point getting all harrumphed about the situation though. Now is the time to isolate. Embrace the latest buzz words “flatten” and “curve”. Only head outside if you’re running out of supplies, need to see a doctor or spy your mortal enemy across the road and want to freak them out by sneezing in their general direction. We may be alone but remember it is only physically. We can still reach out along the invisible lines of communication that buzz buzz buzz through the air and let one another know, hey, we’re still here, don’t go too cocoa bananas, ok?

Ok.

As someone who has accidentally self isolated in the past let me plead with you to be careful. Back in 2017 I started the year with a rapid fire three surgeries for kidney stones while coming off an awful experience dealing with mooks in the radio world. To heal I retreated to my Hammo Cave but I stayed in there a little too long and slowly watched the cheese slip off my cracker. If it weren’t for my manager, my personal trainer and my therapist telling me to get back to the real world, I may have been lost forever. Luckily for me I made like an Aussie Bruce Wayne, crawled out of that pit and back into the light. In hindsight it was a scary journey but I came away from it with a slightly better sense of self and a blueprint on how to slowly improve my surroundings. Just be cognisant of how much time you spend alone. It isn’t until all the voices in your head start taking on a life of their own that you realise how far you’ve gone.

Australia has had a terrible run, an existential dread that has been slowly blanketing this nation for a while now. We’ve wrestled with droughts then the bushfires followed by the floods and now this pandemic. What’s next? If quarantine laws don’t forbid it, I’m making my way to Mount Kosciuszko with a cricket bat ready to smash any asteroids that come this way back to the Kuiper Belt. I don’t think any of us need 20/20 hindsight to know that 2020 has been massively fucked.

But just when you think everything is totally awful Jared Leto returns from 12 nights of isolation in the desert to bear witness on this new Corona-tinged world. Imagine his beautiful eyes exploding and dribbling down his perfect cheekbones as he realises what he’s missed while becoming one with the universe. Check the report here. This is my favourite story of the year so far and I pray it will at the very least inspire a concept album by 30 Seconds to Mars. I will buy it online, as a CD and a gatefold vinyl. I will buy all the merch. ALL OF IT. Come on Leto ya handsome arsehole, make this happen!

In the meantime it is important to keep the brain active and the body in check. Sure, I’ve stress eaten to such an extent the next time you see me onstage you might be inclined to ask, “When did Hammo become a duo?” but I’m devouring books, movies, music and TV shows to keep the intellect engaged. I’m even trying my hand at yoga in my lounge room and have become a disciple of Adriene. After one week I can breathe in and out of one nostril without feeling like a total idiot. Progress!

I’ve also been working away on some new projects and have a few that will be ready to be unveiled soon. Some involve a Patreon but I will endeavour to keep that as cheap as possible. It will help me pay the people involved behind the scenes and hopefully keep this suddenly super expensive roof over my head. Turns out the Sydney rental market really spirals out of control when you don’t have any income. Rest assured the blogs and Big Squid Podcast will remain free. I think you’ll be into some of these new projects.

Hang in there my friends! We don’t know how long this is going to take so we may as well make ourselves comfortable and be the best possible versions of ourselves. While my projects come together you can always check out the Total Reboot podcast, Alice Fraser’s Tea with Alice, or those old stalwarts TOFOP. If you can afford to throw a few bucks here or there, please do. If you’re in a world of financial stress, then use your money wisely and we’ll do our best to keep you engaged in the world while you get back on track.

There’s a new blog coming tomorrow with a challenge for you to gnash your teeth over. I’m also appearing on one of my favourite podcasts so I’ll post a link for that here too. In the meantime I’ll do my best to make this a place that is creative, funny and entertaining in these crazy times. I hope you’ll join me when you can.

I’ll leave you with the immortal words of Michael Conrad, “Let’s be careful out there”.

Justin Hamilton

30th of March 2020

Surry Hills