Dispatches from the Fury Road: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Baby Yoda.

First of all yes, I know his official name is Grogu but he’ll always be Baby Yoda to me.

Now that’s out of the way…

My relationship with Star Wars is easily summed up as this:

I loved the original trilogy as a kid but the cracks began to reveal themselves in Return of the Jedi when I just couldn’t buy cuddly toys beating up on scary stormtroopers. I remember vividly sitting in the cinema the first time Darth Vader appeared flanked by his armoured buddies. It was terrifying. Really terrifying to a kid. Watching the evil empire being taken out by the descendants of Paddington the Bear just didn’t make sense. This is the beginning of a long-term Star Wars tradition: take what is cool and slowly but surely ruin it. Another example is Han Solo. He goes from being the coolest character in the galaxy to a guy who really leans into the slapstick of it all. Booooo.

Then the prequel trilogy arrived and by the time poor-old Jar Jar Binks is quoting Wayne Campbell with an “ex-squeeze-me”, the trilogy was dead to me. Sure, I saw the next two at the cinema but that was more for curiosity. I’m a firm believer that if you’re most probably going to see a blockbuster in your life, you may as well see it in the environment it was intended for. At least the Star Wars tradition continues in these three movies. Darth Vader is less cool. Boba Fett is less cool. Ewan McGregor is less cool. The only one I’m really angry about is McGregor who at least managed to bounce back in smaller budget movies to reignite my man-crush. Maybe Darth and Boba should go and make an indie flick? Darth Vader and Boba Fett in “Call Me By My Name” is the film I’m dying to see. I wonder which character is going to fill up the peaches…

Then the next three films were released and I must confess I enjoyed my first viewing of The Force Awakens but I blame Rove McManus for that. He’s too much fun to hang with and once I watched the film again without him, I realised it wasn’t much chop. If you’d like to enjoy that particular film, find Rove and invite him over to your place for a screening. Your Mum will be rapt and you won’t have to tell her that Rove said hi. For once he can say it himself. By the way, these three films did a great job of continuing the Star Wars tradition but pumped it up to eleven: they made the whole franchise uncool. Excellent work. Go large or go home!

Rogue One was probably the movie I enjoyed the most and at least we were reminded before Darth was reduced to a guy who at one time was a whiny teenager, he was indeed a bad ass who should be feared. On the other hand the Han Solo film was the Muppet Babies version of a Star Wars movie. If you don’t believe me look at Han, Lando and Khaleesi standing next to Vision. They’re tiny! At this point I had made the decision I was out on Star Wars and what a relief. Think of all the more interesting things I could do in life. Watch grass grow. Eat a sandwich. Hum a barely remembered tune. Life was once again full of possibilities.

So when I first saw Baby Yoda pictures I rolled my eyes and was grateful I had checked out. Unfortunately my curiosity got the better of me even though I had no interest in the new Star Wars series The Mandalorian. Why make a series about a character that looks like Boba Fett when you have Boba Fett? Just have him punch his way out of the Sarlacc Pit and get on with it.

With expectations dialled all the way down into the Negative Zone, I began the first episode spread across the lounge daydreaming about the snack I was going to make in a few minutes. Then something quite extraordinary happened. I really enjoyed it! Was it perfect? Not really but when has Star Wars been perfect. Heck, when has it even been consistently good? Don’t bring up the cartoons or the comics or the paper dolls or any other spin-off. The movies are all I really kinda cared about. Yet now I’m all in with Mando (yes I know his name is Din but he will always be Mando to me) and Baby Yoda. That puppet stole my heart.

Why has this worked? I think it is a combination of a few top decisions:

Mando is stoic and 99% of the time wearing his mask. That allows us as a viewer to express our emotions onto his blank slate. Pedro Pascal also has the perfect voice. I know men and women alike who think Mando is pretty sexy, especially with his helmet on. He also doesn’t have a long history in other Star Wars properties so he’s a shiny new character we can get behind.

Baby Yoda is a marvel and exhibits all the qualities we like in babies (that sweet spot where they begin to exhibit character but don’t talk. Seriously, babies ruin everything the first time they speak. Yes, I am not a parent.) and also what we love in baby animals: helpless but could also hurt you in ways you don’t expect. He’s a kitten but instead of razor sharp teeth, he can Force crush you from a distance. He’s cute, funny and a little bit naughty. Perfect.

Finally I just don’t care anymore. What a great result! I honestly don’t give a shit about Star Wars so I can watch these new series and if they’re not perfect, I’m good. There’s too many real world worries to worry about. World War 3 is about to break out! The environment is fucked! Our Prime Minister is in conflict with the band Dragon! I don’t care if the Boba Fett series is all over the place. I watch it while I eat a meal or when I’m too tired to concentrate but also not quite tired enough to go to bed. Besides, I hung in with Boba Fett in the off chance my two pals would turn up.

And they did!

And it was glorious!

While everyone else gnashed their teeth over the latest series by threatening to cancel Robert Rodriguez or wondering how those brightly coloured Mods escaped Swinging London, I just let it wash all over me. Besides, Boba has been uncool for a long time now and that’s saying something since he debuted on the infamous Star Wars Christmas Special, the only character to emerge from that misstep with glory intact. I was rapt to see my guy and his little pal reunite. That’s all I really wanted to see anyway. By the time Baby Yoda was tapping on his dome to let Mando know he wanted to hit hyperspace, I was content.

Fingers crossed Star Wars breaks with tradition and lets these two remain cool or at the very least adorable.

Justin Hamilton

Surry Hills

Feb 2022