Dispatches from the Fury Road: Shame

I was shamed by two dogs shagging.

I was walking around my neighbourhood with lofty thoughts of artistic goals and expression, listening to the new Smile album for inspiration, when I looked down and made eye contact with these two dogs. The owner was sitting on a seat, on a busy street just before dinner time, paying no attention to his canine pals going for gold. I’d been so lost in my imagination that it was quite the shock.

Two different expressions came my way. The first was the male dog who looked at me blankly as if to say, “Whaddayalookinat?” Why he had a New York accent will forever be lost on me. If he could have spoken, I don’t doubt for an instance he would have finished his question with “…ya bum!”

Meanwhile the female dog looked at me with bored eyes, just wishing it would all be over as quickly as possible. At the very least, could I find some portable partitioning that could allow her to endure this with some modicum of privacy.

I immediately felt awful that I’d seen any of this and a wave of shame flooded through me. Animals can have quite the effect on me when it comes to embarrassing moments. Many years ago when I returned early to my home in Adelaide, I walked in on my housemates moving the furniture around the lounge room. After dry retching for a second, I moonwalked out of there, and then beat a hasty retreat up the stairs to my bedroom, shutting the door a little loudly so they’d know I was home. I didn’t feel bad about it, I just didn’t want to see the deed being done.

Contrast that to the time I was out the back of Mum’s place taking a work call, literally minding my own business. In the middle of this chat I looked down into the garden and accidentally made eye contact with her cat doing her business in the dirt. The look the cat gave me was so furious, so disgusted with me for daring to look in her direction while she did her business, I lost focus on what I was saying, and had to walk in the opposite direction to regain my composure. I don’t know why I should feel bad. I wasn’t the one taking a crap next to the flower bed.

Getting back to the dogs, I looked up as quickly as possible, hoping both mutts would think I’d actually missed all of it, and their honour would remain intact. I felt awful I’d seen this intimate moment between these hairy lovers, and turned the first right off the busy street so I could be as far away from the scene as humanly possible.

If anyone knows these dogs and the mention this experience, please pass on my number. I’d love to buy them treats as my way of saying, “I am so sorry I saw any of that”. Or at the very least let them know they inspired this blog.

Justin Hamilton

Surry Hills

9th of February, 2024